Home » Kids - yes or no?

I have always been a dreamer, a sleep-talker. My mother says I even went through a phase of si nging the theme tune to Pokemon, pocket-monsters, to welcome the early hours of the morning. Last night, I had a very vivid dream, and it was one that threw me off course a little bit. I dreamt I had a family of my own; a husband, children, two dogs. It's rare that I'm rendered speechless, but on this occasion, I woke up with nothing to say. I was full of thoughts.

 

Having a family used to be the last thing I wanted from life. When you're young, I guess the things you see most clearly are those rites of passage that are to happen most immediately - so you're excited about university, about your first job, moving out. But having a family, having kids? I honestly thought I'd be enjoying myself too much being on my own and making myself heard the rest of my life to have time to pause for a second and settle for that. My parents would always, quite rightly now, tell me, 'one day, you'll feel differently.'

 

My aunt and uncle can't have kids. They discovered it a few years ago to date, but haven't really given a second look to any of the available alternatives. I'd always looked to them as the single most perfect couple to become parents - they were the opposite of what I was convinced I was destined to be - and of all people on the planet, they had to be denied the one thing they truly wanted. I think, sincerely, that the news of their fertility disabilities disheartened them so much that they've accepted their fate - defeat.

 

Angrily, and still spinning from my dreams, I researched through the afternoon. Whereas at first instance I thought they were weak for giving up so early and easily, after learning the complexities of the law surrounding the issue of reproduction, I began to empathise. When you really look at how the world works - the government seems to be quite happy to leave all those who can reproduce naturally to their devices, perhaps with an off-the-record congratualtions, but when people need their help to have a child, they draw in issue after issue.

 

This 'reproductive liberty', where the state does not feel it is obliged to assist couples in fulfilling their lives, has its reasons. It would be irresponsbile for the state to let just anyone be a parent, if they 'wanted' to be. However, they cannot reproductivelly discriminate, they must not disregard the outstanding potential of good couples and individuals, and I'm hoping they will kick up their hesitant heels and get a move on.