Atlantic Crossing
Posted: Monday, April 13, 2009
by Sara O'Rourke
Now I am quicksilver; fire and light, laughter and change. I fled to the central Americas, acr
oss thousands of miles of water, from insecurity and trouble, and today I write a humbled, cured and content adventurer. Travelling is a nasty bug; an unbeatable virus that bites and holds you captive for life. The places you see, the people you meet, the lessons you learn about not only life but more importantly about yourself all amount to an unmatched awesome - and I have never felt so happy.
Once I stepped onto the plane and handed the hostess my boarding pass, I knew there would be no turning back - or at least, turning back now would involve a great deal of effort and result in a hoard of disgruntled passengers, and so was not really an option for me. This was going to be the time to test my limits - to really see how far, much like plasticine, I could be stretched. And, knowing myself well enough to predict my hesitation when it came to trekking up high, or caving hundreds of meters down below, I made sure I consented and was already doing it before I had time to decline.
What I achieved, to me, was like sticking my flag on the peak of the Everest; I felt the heat of flowing lava, climbed hundreds of meters up ancient ruins and down into the darkness of the Belizian caves, ripped open fish with my bare hands and fed them to rays and sharks, and never looked back. Meeting a whole crowd of strangers, in itself, was a challenge. I would be out there, barefaced and reputationless for them to get to know. They were the same. I even chanced romance, letting go, finally, of all the black clouds that smothered my confidence before, to feel again the twinge of that tell-tale smile in my cheeks after a good kiss.
Of course, as remedial as space was, no stretch of water will permanently get rid of your problems. I knew that everything would be waiting for me, back at home. Nostalgia was a visitor. However, memory became reflective rather than destructive. I somehow finally felt detached from the way I was and the life I led back then, and the new one I was now leading. It took courage and money to get to it, but I finally had a blank canvas, and I the only artist, armed with the rich colours of our world's cultural mecca.
The best part of the trip was undoubtedly the company. Each and everyone had something unique to bring to the group - a lesson, an anecdote, a shred of advice or the punch line of a joke. You saw how everyone, while so individual, was human in their insecurities, highs and lows, you learned that everyone needed each other at some point, and that that was okay, too. Most of all, you learned to like yourself, your one true constant, and most intimate, company.
Central America was a blessing. I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to go and see such wonderful things and experience so much, so young. I will no longer be kept in a cage, waiting to be given freedom. I am already free, already I am eager to fly.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Hi Sara.This was so beautifully written that I could feel the sun and smell the salt air.Often, we have to get away from the familiar grind, the same old places and faces to properly put a new perspective on things. Sounds like you found yours.My husband has always said that with a little practice and dedication, you can feel, every day, as if you are on vacation. He might be right, but this is something that has eluded me so far. Hold tight to what you have learned and let it inform all the rest of your days.With highest regards,Dianne
Good for you, Sara. You have found something at a young age most foks will never even know exists.
hi sara,i'm happy for you and your awakening. shed the layers of the past, start anew, and show the world what you're made of. and those who don't appreciate you for who you are, leave. may you enjoy the memories and the lessons learned,my best regards,sue
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