The Student Bridget Jones
Posted: Friday, October 29, 2010
by Sara O'Rourke
Picture this: I'm sat on my double bed - freshly clean sheets - fig-scented candle flickering, a tub of hummous and a family bag of nachos beside me, computer on my lap. I switch on the television and gorge with my eyes over the endless recorded episodes of 'The Only Way is Essex' and 'Gilmore Girls' and smile at the prospect of a night in alone with my most faithful, attentive home entertainment.
I think it's relatively normal, especially for women, to experience a little, or a rather large, if we're being realistic, crisis of confidence when it comes to the dating life. I feel like the cold weather and the onset of Christmas and those types of holidays focussed on love, family, warm hugs and the like, only make these longings worse. The days are getting shorter, and we want someone to hold our hands and lead us home when the sun sets at 5pm.
It's not always an immediate realisation. In fact, at the time, and in the moment, I was having one of the best terms yet. I'm no smoker, but I reached the landmark of every university student in buying my first packet of cigarettes and a lighter at Euston station, friction burning my thumb as I tried to master the technique of lighting up. I eventually had to huddle into a corner and spent the next five minutes cupping my cigarette, which was now relatively soggy, before I could face the streets of London again and casually puff away as if I were a natural, seasoned addict. Needless to say, I had one, felt quite nauseous, and it took the next month, and many parties, to finish the packet of 10. I've kept the lighter as a souvenir of my debauchery, of my, let's say, rebellious moment.
It has also been a term of fleeting romances and handsome strangers. I have consciously made an effort to try and switch off my conscious thought and instead asked myself in every situation, 'do you want to do this?' If the answer was in the affirmative, I thought no further and went right ahead. The results have, honestly, varied, but at least along the way I have had some good breakfasts - even if I had to suffer quite severe stubble rash along the way.
The journey I feel I have made could be described as a circle, and I am now coming back around to my starting point - if I manage to recognise it. I have seen, tried, and pondered about everything curious, dangerous, illicit, naughty, and discovered what is, and what is not, for me. I'm not a smoker - my performance on the pitch was definitely painful the day after a night of nicotene - and I have discovered a new love of gin and tonic, and admittedly do not, and probably would not, even if I did, respect my limits. I'm jeans and a t-shirt, not a see-through blouse and short skirt. And, to top it all off, I'm definitely rooting for a Mark Darcy, but play more like Daniel Cleaver.
So, as the Christmas holidays draw closer, as the opening of the flim rolls, and as I look forward to feeling the tickle of that first flake of winter snow on the tip of my nose, I embrace my independence, the stable, committed relationship with my remote control, dressing gown, cherry and cinnamon tea and Greek dip selection, and smile at the fact that, curled up and warm, I am at my happiest.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Glad to see you are writing for searchwarp
Happy commitment! I absolutely love Bridget Jones, both books and films - my favorite scene of all time is the restaurant fight between Darcy and Cleaver, when they go flying through the window!
"I'm sat on my double bed", "the opening of the flim rolls" "
"after a night of nicotene "
"tub of hummous " " holidays focussed "
Baby, you've GOT to watch the spelling flubs..........
Hi Sara.
Entertaining and interesting. I'm glad that you and the tobacco did not get along. Nasty habit and bad for your health.
You know, learning to be okay alone is one of the best lessons a person can learn. Don't get me wrong, I am happy and fortunate to have Bernd by my side. But I know that if and when I lose him, I will be devastated for a while, but I will be okay alone. It would be harder, sure, but I will do it. I think you must already know this. Oh, and by the way, you are much more adventurous and outgoing than I ever dared to be at your age. Bravo!
Hugs,
Dianne
Your a very smart young lady to put school first. There is lots of time for a relationship. If you are secure in every area of your life you will wind up having the best relationship ever. Great article.
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